Best Place on Earth Part II

In a previous column I offered that the primary solution for making Kansas 
the best place on earth to raise a child would be to encourage stay at home 
mothers. During a conversation about that column I was asked to address the 
problem of absentee fathers and told that I was not living in the real world. Fair 
enough, the following ideas are for men, and they don't require legislation or 
tax increases.
There is a word that describes you men who have sired children just to leave 
them fatherless and unprotected. No matter how much free time you have, how 
less complicated your life is as you forge ahead without your kids, the word for 
you is. . . loser. I don't mean the term as a pejorative, I mean it 
literally. Contrary to the beer ads, life is not about sex, money and motor vehicles. 
Deprived of a relationship with their dad, your children will be scarred for 
life. Statistically you have left them at a higher risk for teen pregnancy, drug 
use, prison and suicide. 
Let me put this in language you should understand.
We salute you, Mr. Left-your-kids-to-live-your-own-life, for missing out on 
the true meaning of life. We salute you, Mr. Left-your-kids-with-a-single-mom, 
for dumping your share of the load like a spineless coward. We salute you, Mr. 
Left-your-kids-with-their-grandparents, for avoiding one of God's primary 
means for teaching you about Himself, and about yourself. We salute you, Mr. 
Left-your-kids-but-they'll-get-over-it, for squandering away the unconditional 
love of your own children, blowing off the future benefits of responsibility, and 
forfeiting the rewards of strong family relationships. Whatever the evil one 
whispered to you when you decided to take off and leave your family, you lost, 
big time, and are still losing. 
As for you men who haven't left physically, but have checked out of your 
children's lives, wake up guys, you won't get this time back. Turn off, or better 
yet, throw out your television. If your kids must see a movie, watch it with 
them. Make sure they understand the many levels of information they are being 
bombarded with so they aren't sucked in by cleverly hidden messages or seduced 
by the inane and false images of pop culture. Play catch, ride bikes, go 
fishing, or read a classic. Visit a park, you'll have the place to yourselves. Kids 
do not require much. They just want to be with you. Here's a little secret 
guys. You need to be with them.
Don't even think about divorce. In grade school not one of my classmates had 
divorced parents. In high school I physically prevented a friend from climbing 
a water tower and jumping the day his parents announced they were getting a 
divorce. Divorce is now so common it's hard to imagine it was once rare, but 
the wounds to children are no less severe. At the very least we should stop 
screwing around with marriage and take it seriously as a vow to God between one 
man and one woman with a purpose higher than meeting our own needs. This also 
means to stop screwing around, period. 
Fathers, take responsibility for your children's education and values. Do not 
leave it to the school system. Do you know your child's teachers? Do you know 
if they are cheating on their spouse, belong to a cult, or think getting kids 
to reject their parents values is an important part of their job? Where you 
live such things might be rare. I have lived where they were not, yet most 
fathers know almost nothing about the people they entrust their children to the 
better part of each day. This is insane. You would not treat your car this way. 
Good teachers appreciate involved parents, bad teachers don't. News flash: 
There are bad teachers. The school district isn't going to tell you who they are, 
and your kids probably won't either. Remember Jr. High and High School when 
we thought teachers who told dirty jokes were cool and those who made us work 
were bad? Your children's education is your responsibility dad. You will live 
with the results.
Raising kids requires. . . love. The word love gets a lot of air time, but 
our culture teaches us to pretend love comes and goes against our will. That is 
so not true. According to Scripture love is a choice, and a commandment. We 
may have to live in the real world, but with God's help we can choose to live 
according to the rules of heaven, and that, my brother, is the best way on earth 
to raise a child, in any state.