Trojan Donkey

   One crisp November morning Common Sense and his pal Notso Dumb headed out 
to go fishing. At the edge of town was a massive wooden statue of a donkey on 
wheels.
   "Whoa C.S., What is that?" asked Notso.
   "I don't know N.D., lets look at the inscription. It says this is a 
Trojan Donkey, a gift from the Kansas Democratic State Committee. It says this big 
donkey will bring more funding for education AND hold the line on taxes. It 
will even bring down the cost of health care.
   "That sounds great, let's get some help and haul this big donkey into 
town!" yelled N.D.
   "More funding AND less taxes? I don't think so N.D.," Common Sense 
pointed out. "Look underneath the belly of the donkey, there's a catch. Let's see 
what's inside this thing."
   They climbed up and knocked. A hatch opened and a voice whispered, "You 
guys are late, get in here."
   C.S. motioned for N.D. to keep quiet and they climbed inside.
   "Welcome aboard, I'm Ed Funding, here's my partner N.E.A. Meet my pals 
A.C.L.U. and W. Hater. On the right are, oh, there's no one there. Well, on the 
left over there is Protect Abortion, there are Mr. Gay, Ms. Lesbian, and, uh, 
I'm not sure if Transgender is a Mr., Mrs. or Ms. today.
   The three jumped to their feet.
   "I meant no offense! I have friends that are gay and it's okay!" Ed 
quickly added. He whispered to C.S. and N.D., "They take offense easy, but they are 
tireless workers for our side."
   "What do they want?" asked N.D.  
   "Tolerance training in schools. The marriage thing."
   "Tolerance of what?" C.S. asked
   Ed clasped a hand on C.S.'s mouth. "You do not want these guys mad at 
you, they have enormous influence over the press and practically own the 
entertainment industry. Let's keep em mad at the Christians."
   "You mean those few Christians who insist God prohibits sex outside of 
marriage?"
   "Exactly!" Ed chuckled, "Self-righteous fanatics!  Who are they to say 
what is right and wrong.  Just ask A.C.L.U. over there. It's all relative. We 
all have our own path to truth."
   "So everyone is right, EXCEPT those Christians who believe there is such 
a thing as absolute right and wrong?" asked Common Sense.
   "Hey," Ed insisted, "I was raised, you know, a Christian and all that, 
but I'm no conservative. We need to keep conservative Christians out of the 
government!"
   "Let me get this straight, said Common Sense, "You say you're a 
Christian, but you're in this big donkey working hand in hand with the A.C.L.U who 
threatens schools if they let children whisper a prayer. You hang with the N.E.A. 
whose newsletters to teachers are filled with shameless propaganda, and even 
Abortion Providers who kill babies that would survive a C-section. You don't 
object to the Gay/Lesbian/Transgendered groups blatant efforts to influence 
early education . . ."
   "Hey!" Interrupted Atheist Science Standards, "Imagine what would happen 
if the government were run by committed Christians?
   "It's not hard to imagine," C.S. replied, "It happened once and the 
result was The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution, and The Bill of 
Rights. . . you know, pretty much the United States of America."
   "Women couldn't vote!" screamed Militant Feminist.
   "They were evil slave owners!" shouted NAACP.
   Everyone began shouting, "They were fur trappers and whale killers! "They 
believed men were created equal! Thanks to Darwin we now know better! 
Creation is mythology! The Founding Fathers believed men were depraved and needed a 
self-limiting form of government with constitutional checks and balances! We 
know humans are essentially good if you can get to them early enough!  They 
thought men's rights were inalienable and endowed by their Creator, we know rights 
come from the State! We will educate our way to world peace and harmony once 
we liberals have control! More power to the State! We need human cloning! 
Science will design the next leap in our collective evolution! So what if we use 
deception and propaganda, the ends will justify our means!"
   C. S. looked hard at Ed Funding. "Hey, I just want more money." Ed said 
sheepishly.
   "Come on N.D. Let's get out of here."
   Common Sense and N.D. climbed down.
   "We must warn the townspeople about what's inside this Trojan Donkey!" 
Common Sense insisted.
   Nah," N.D replied, "I don't want those guys upset with me. I'm going 
fishing.  I told Who Cares and Too busy I'd meet em at Lake Headinsand today.