Not Ashamed

My wife and I used to live in New York City where I shot commercials and music videos. We moved to Los Angeles where I worked as a cinematographer and lighting technician. Ironically, "Christian" morals worked in my favor—to a point. I was dependable, didn't sleep around, use drugs or get drunk. Heck, I didn't even cuss. I saw the compromises others made to get ahead, but not my own. Moving ahead and doing right proved impossible. It finally sunk in success is not defined by one's peers, so I walked away.

Today I'll spend hours cleaning the screens used to screenprint T-shirts. Screenprinting is part of my job description. When I quit the entertainment industry and moved back to Pratt my first job was trimming trees, mostly in Greensburg. I then went to Pratt Well Service. One of our jobs was pulling the old pipe from the salt water extrusion wells in Hutchinson, then plugging them. Al Gore would never complain of global warming had he spent that winter freezing with us, numb-fingered, baptized in salt water and driving on black ice.

I then ran for the state senate. Some friends asked me to, and after praying about it I believe God wanted me to. If that causes you to grimace, I don't blame you. When anyone tells me something like that I wonder if their elevator makes it to the penthouse, but it's the truth. At first I didn't take running for office seriously. I thought the purpose was to have a forum to, well, talk about God and give myself and my kids a comprehensive civics lesson. I quickly realized I should honor the election process and those who supported me, so I took a job that allowed time to campaign and gave it my best shot. I lost.

So here I am, screen printing T-shirts and delivering business forms forty hours a week, with a stay at home wife and five children.

It's a long way from sitting on a camera dolly instructing the film crew how to tweak the scene to create a cinematic masterpiece. The film industry isn't easy to break into, but when you're in, it's a heady existence. Tell the next person who asks what you do you're a cinematographer and watch their reaction. In today's entertainment obsessed culture it trumps being a brain surgeon.

After washing screens today I'll go home, pick up my sons and head to baseball practice. I'm the coach. In one game Josiah got on every at bat and Caleb hit two home runs. Okay, they were in the park with throwing errors, but he crossed the plate. In New York and Los Angeles I never met one dad who coached his son's baseball team. Few in "the biz" are married and almost no one to their first spouse. Even on a Nickelodeon show I was the only one with kids. To succeed in "the biz", you have to set goals. Family isn't considered a goal.

Recently I took four of my children "tubing" on the Ninnescah just north of Cunningham. They "floated" and I, well let's just say if I want to float the Ninnescah I'm going to need a John Deere inner tube filled with helium. We saw newborn fawns, caught tadpoles, collected clam shells and each of the kids claimed an island. The late afternoon sky was beyond glorious. Shafts of light streamed through the clouds, highlighting the lush countryside. Caleb noted, "Nobody can paint like God, huh dad."

We love fishing. My kids have caught hundreds of fish, and each has their own fish stories. Even Micaiah at 20 months will hold up his fingers to show how big his last fish was. In "the biz" I never met one dad who taught his kids how to fish.

Almost every Sunday you can see me walking with my kids to church. On the way Caleb recites his memory verse, Hannah looks for wild flowers, Josiah asks some unanswerable question while Stephanie skips and sings. My wife doesn't get ready until the kids are dressed and out the door so she starts a roast or ham and brings Micaiah later. Sunday's rock.

In this column I'm going to make the case that greed, pride, and ambition  are killing us all. Not just in Hollywood, but right here in Kansas we've forgotten God and are losing our families. I intend to shed light on those who work in darkness using deception to achieve their ends. I pray the information proves useful in your families decision making.

I'm a sinner, but I've earned the right to speak to these issues, I've been given this platform, and so help me God I will attempt to speak the truth without regard to men's approval.

I am a Christian, and I am not ashamed.

 

Russell Steen