Somewhere, in a Kansas classroom

Scene: Public school science class somewhere in Kansas

Teacher: By the process of evolution, amazing and complex life forms have come into existence - so complex people in the past thought the events that produced life were the handiwork of gods. Today the scientific community does not believe in superstition, but strives to understand everything according to observable, testable, scientific methods. Yes Johnny?

Johnny: Do you believe in God?

Teacher: Well, uh, I can't talk about that.

Johnny: Oh. Then may I explain why intelligent design makes more sense of the observable data than materialistic evolution?

Teacher: No Johnny, to discuss any religious ideas in science class would be breaking the wall of separation between church and state.

Johnny: "Wall of separation" is not in the Constitution, or the Bill of Rights. It was a line from a personal letter Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptists.

Teacher: Oh, well, there is the anti-establishment clause. . .

Johnny: The First Amendment states, "Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of a religion, nor prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

I'm not a member of Congress, and I'm not making a law. You mean if I tell the class why I believe there is scientific evidence which suggests that God created the universe, I would be establishing a state religion, but it's perfectly okay for you, an employee of the state, to teach that science has concluded there is no God?

Teacher: Johnny, this is science, not a religion class. In this class we discuss the observable, testable facts of science, not faith or religious myths.

Now, as I was saying, 15 billion years ago all matter in the universe was compressed into an infinitesimally small point. Then the Big Bang happened and formed everything in the expanding universe. Later, the Earth was accidentally formed among the debris and happened to rotate around the sun in a precise stable orbit which provided just the right conditions for non-living stuff to come to life. The living stuff eventually became more complex until genetic material organized itself, then living beings improved their chances of survival by genetically mutating into the different species in a process called natural selection. What's bugging you now Johnny?

Johnny: Doesn't life springing from non-living matter contradict the second law of thermodynamics? Why isn't non-living stuff becoming living stuff today?

Aren't some biological mechanisms interdependent and too complex to have possibly evolved by genetic mutation? Shouldn't the fossil record have countless irrefutable examples of intermediate species? How did the conditions for life on Earth stay so uniform for so long? How big was the sun, say, 550,000,000 years ago? How can material processes ever produce a rational mind?

Teacher: Listen to that kids. Johnny's obviously been indoctrinated to discount anything that doesn't fit his mom and dad's nutty religion. We have here one of those embarrassing born-agains who thinks the Bible should be taken literally.

Johnny: I believe in God, I trust Jesus, and I understand the implications. What do you believe?

Teacher: Look Johnny, I don't believe in heaven or hell. I believe the government should fully fund public education, solve poverty, provide health care, fund the arts, NPR and PBS. I believe we should punish hate speech and I agree with Richard Dawkins that we should probably just take kids away from religious parents.

I believe same-sex couples should be able to marry and adopt. The school nurse should be able to distribute condoms and birth control to any student, no questions asked. I support abortion on demand for all nine months.

I believe science and technology, applied through public education, will ultimately bring about a unified social utopia of like-minded, peace-loving, tolerant, progressives - if we could just rid the Earth of religious fanatics like you and your parents and the politicians they vote for.

Suzie: Wow. You're a liberal Democrat like George Clooney!

Teacher: No Suzie, this is Kansas. I'm a moderate Republican. Now Johnny, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have such a narrow mind. I learned in college the most important part of education is being exposed to new ideas and values which are different from your own.

Johnny: Oh. Then may I explain why intelligent design makes more sense of the observable data than materialistic evolution?