Suckling PIGs

The air is filled with the smell of fish, roasted duck, and frying pork. A family from Kansas, proudly sporting state college logos on their hats and shirts, meanders wide-eyed through Chinatown in lower New York City. For this family on vacation from the Sunflower State, Chinatown is like another planet. Sidewalk venders hawk bags, clothing with bogus designer labels, fake Rolex watches, and other bootlegged merchandise. The kids raise their eyebrows, then point and laugh at the strange things being sold in the bustling food market. Fish of all shapes and colors. Squid, turtles, crabs, ducks, suckling pigs, and several other things few Kansans ever see or imagine as food are hanging everywhere in the hot sun. Small Chinese people bicker sharply with Chinese vendors before buying. Carefully groomed and utterly pretentious New Yorkers from "The Village" buy fish, fruits, vegetables and spices. Honking cabs jerk and stop through a sea of pedestrians crossing back and forth across the crowded street.

The family huddles on the sidewalk. They're having fun, but the crowd, the noise and fast pace make it almost too intense to enjoy. They hear laughter and look to see what's going on. In a lot between two buildings a skinny black kid quickly slides three crumpled playing cards on top of a cardboard box. A tall, blond Swede and his wife are laughing along with the black kid. A few other onlookers are laughing too. The Swedes are dressed in Bermuda shorts, white socks and Birkenstock sandals. They have cameras around their necks, sunglasses in their hair, and the wife holds a fold-out map. They are unmistakably tourists.

The family from Kansas moves closer to watch. The Swede bets a twenty. The kid scrambles the cards, the Swede points, the kid flips it and. . . wrong card. "Arrrgh!" laughs the Swede shaking his head, "How able are you to do that?" He's certainly enjoying the game. They go again and the Swede picks the right card. Everyone cheers. An excited onlooker joins in and both he and the Swede miss on the next attempt.

The family from Kansas is now rooting for the Swede. So far the "Big Apple" has seemed cold and distant, but here are fellow travelers, obviously on vacation and having a good time. Besides this, Dad's been carefully watching the cards and realizes he would have won every bet. He calculates he would have made over a hundred bucks in just a few minutes. He edges closer. The Swede and his wife move aside to make room for Dad with a laugh. "Fast he is too much for me. You pick this one!".

Dad decides to give it a shot. It's only twenty bucks. Mom and the kids urge him on. Win or lose it will make a good story back home. He reaches for his money belt. . .

"Hey!" a voice yells from across the street. "Hey!" A stranger dodges cabs as he crosses over. "It's a scam!" You're being set up!"

The stranger walks up to the family. "These guys," he points to the Swede and his wife, ". . . they're in on it, and these two, and over there is a lookout and another one over there. They're all in on it—ALL of them! You might win a few times, but they want to see how much money you have, and where you're keeping it. You were about to lose everything."

The black kid disappears. The Swede, his wife and the "onlookers" stare daggers at the stranger, then quickly walk off into the crowd.

The family from Kansas is embarrassed. It's all too fast. They move away, angry and upset.

"You're welcome," the stranger says to himself. A wiry little man comes up behind him, tells him he'll get knifed in the back if he does that again, then disappears like a cockroach.

The stranger frowns. That was too close. He thought he'd spotted all the players, but he obviously missed one.

Why did he stop something he knew went on all day, all over the city? He was born and raised in Kansas.

Many Kansans would rather be lied to and ripped off than embarrassed. It's a peculiar combination of pride and ignorance that makes for easy targets. Add greed and it's way too easy.

Proud, Ignorant and Greedy— PIGs. Scam artists devour PIGs.

Why did we stop telling our children they were created in the image of a loving God? Pride—we mustn't be embarrassed. Why do judges decide what the state will spend instead of elected representatives? Ignorance—we're clueless about our constitution and the media forgot to mention the ACLU plays the bogus "disequity" scam all over the country! How is Kansas the only state to own casinos? Greed.

HEY!!!