Michael, Michael, Michael. I bet you never got hit playing football like you've been sacked by the media. The anger, outrage, humiliation and piling on has lasted for weeks.
I'm sure it stung when Sen. Robert Byrd shouted repeatedly how barbaric and sadistic you were from the Senate floor. Then CNN's Nancy Grace labeled you a murderer - ouch. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell called your conduct "cruel and reprehensible." I can't even repeat what many animal rights activists have said, but I'm sure you got the message. We love our puppies.
So you lost a 10-year, $130-million contract, and got dropped by Nike, Rawlings, Reebok, Upper Deck and everyone else. Time to look for the silver lining. Going over your resume, I discovered certain qualifications that could make you a prime candidate to relocate to Kansas and modify your career path.
Mr. Vick, your renowned abilities and skills in callousness, cruelty, barbarism and sadistic behavior are just what our own late-term abortion facilities need. Sure, medical advancements have made it possible for pre-term babies smaller than nine ounces to be kept alive and thriving, but abortionists here in Kansas make a killing with the barbaric act of partial-birth abortion of almost full-term babies.
The job description includes assisting in directing the millions of dollars from other states that pour into Kansas during our elections to keep our abortion-on-demand politicians in office.
According to NFL commissioner Goodell, your "association with illegal gambling both violates the terms of your contract and exposes you to corrupting influences in derogation of one of the most fundamental responsibilities of an NFL player." Good news Michael. NFL players might be expected to avoid corrupting influences and adhere to fundamental responsibilities, but in Kansas, our governor, attorney general and most of our elected officials don't buy the idea that gambling exposes us to corrupting influences.
In Kansas, gambling is good. We prefer the term "gaming" and think of it as a progressive step toward economic growth and campaign contributions. Betting on dogfights is still illegal here, but so many things that were completely unimaginable 10 years ago are now being codified into law every day by our liberal-minded governor and legislators. Perhaps you could work on getting an executive order. Come up with a plan to fund education with dog fighting and see what happens.
As to your claim that you are glad this all happened because it caused you to seek Jesus, that could be a problem.
On one hand, if this is a sly attempt to fool the public and gain sympathy, then you will do well here in Kansas, especially around election time. You'd better skip the unambiguous references to Jesus and speak about how important your "faith" is to you, how your "faith" has helped and strengthened you in these troubled times, and then throw in how your own "faith" has given you the ability to appreciate and tolerate all faiths.
On the other hand, if through this experience you have indeed seen the mounting insanity of this sex-crazed, money-driven, self-worshipping, idolatrous culture - if you get that the core message of the gospel is an incredible offer of getting out, being set free, being forgiven, healed and restored to your creator - if you really believe the story of a love that extends the grace and mercy of God to all who repent and believe - then God bless you on your journey my Christian brother.
I'm certain the public doesn't know the worst things you've done. Not one of us would want our own evil deeds discussed by David Letterman or shown on CNN. We are all selfish and deserve a cross, and like everyone else drawing a God-given breath today, you haven't done anything beyond God's power to forgive. I know full well if Jesus' love found me, it can find anyone.
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